


On hair and uneven distribution of work

by Undreaming



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22476973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undreaming/pseuds/Undreaming
Summary: A calm, domestic scene, Mister Mistoffelees battling Tugger's unruly mane and some unexpected relationship revelations.
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger
Comments: 10
Kudos: 199





	On hair and uneven distribution of work

The junkyard was quiet on that day, most of the Jellicle cats hid from the windy autumn afternoon in their dens and tried to catch enough sleep to be ready for the night. The said quiet was disturbed only by an occasional snore and - more importantly - a quiet argument coming from the den shared by two very different cats, Rum Tum Tugger and Mister Mistoffelees. Their constant bickering kept giving the younger kittens hope that the ever-so-desirable Tugger would eventually tire of the magician's cold demeanor and become available again, but the older cats just scoffed and shook their heads in amusement. There was nothing healthier for Tugger's ego than the quiet and stern treatment so natural for the younger black cat.

The scene in the den looked something like this: Tugger on his back, all paws spread as if he wanted to take all the space available and even more, purring happily. Mister Mistoffelees appeared to be choked by Tugger's mane and partially lost in it. Only the repetitive movements of his head and occasional "Move your head to the right" or "Oh for everlasting cat's sake, I just did this bit!" revealed what he was struggling with - he was desperately trying (and failing) to groom his mate. Given the difference between their furs, Mistoffelees's being sleek, smooth and elegant, Tugger's wild, fluffy, unruly and pretty much everywhere, the struggle was to be expected. Still, Mistoffelees wasn't a cat keen on passing a chance to complain. 

"Really now?!" he growled when he dove back into Tugger's mane and found a spot full of dust. Licking vigorously on the offending hair for a few moments, he emerged to gasp for air. 

His partner burst out laughing and immediately gave an apologetic look when the tuxedo cat frowned. "Misto, not that I don't appreciate how enthusiastic you are, but I believe most of the dust migrated to your face." And unfortunately, that was true. The pure white of Mistoffelees's nose and forehead had become muddy grey. Before the magician cat could explode with embarrassment and frustration, Tugger sat up and, gently holding the frowning face in his paws, gave several careful licks with his long, rough tongue. Within a few seconds, Mister Mistoffelees was clean again. "All better," the older cat winked and proceeded to lie back down. 

"Not that I mind helping you," grumbled Misto when Rum Tum Tugger sprawled on his back and made the mane on his throat accessible with a smug smirk, "but this isn't really an even distribution of work, is it? Look at how much hair you have!" If there was an appreciative tone in his complaint, he definitely did not mean it. 

And unfortunately, count on Rum Tum Tugger to detect every tiny hint of praise coming his way. "You love it," he purred. 

Another frown, although this time a less sincere one. "Do I?" 

"Oh, you definitely do, Misto. In the winter especially. Or when it's chilly during autumn, then I just can't get you out of my hair, literally. Despite what I say on every possible occasion, there is one cat who I spend most of my free time cuddling with. Or more precisely, warming him up, because I love him too much to fall victim to his beautiful, shiny and mysterious, but so insufficiently warm coat. You wouldn't happen to know who that is, mhm?" 

Mister Mistoffelees, as non-talkative about his affection towards the older tom as ever, looked sideways and pretended to plan his next approach to tackle the next mountain of hair. "Your assistance in this matter is...appreciated. But it only takes you a few licks to get me clean, whereas for me..." he gave the dusty mane a look full of dignified apprehension, "...my tongue is simply not big enough for that. And my jaw is starting to ache. I've been at it for at least an hour now. Why don't you ask some of your rabid fans to help? They would gladly offer their tongues and...well...everything else to make you happy." 

He made the remark as a half-joke and did not expect Tugger to take him seriously. However, the suspicious silence from the Maine Coon made him stop his ministrations completely and pay full attention to his mate. "Tugger?" 

"Um..." the older cat chuckled sheepishly, "there may be an issue...or two...or more with that suggestion. For instance, I'm pretty sure if I let some of them near my hair, they would collect the shed bits as souvenirs. Which is...creepy. It could also make you jealous and give the kittens some wrong ideas about the state of our relationship," he winked at the tuxedo cat, but the stern and impenetrable look soon convinced him he wasn't getting out of this topic with a simple misdirection. He sighed and sat up to meet Mistoffelees's gaze. "And...there's also the thing that I don't let anyone near my fur. Ever." 

The magician narrowed his eyes, confused. "You don't? But you've always let me." 

Tugger's loop-sided smirk was now almost apologetic. "Well, yeah. You. But no one else." 

"But...this was long ago before we even got together!" Misto blurted out without thinking. "Even when you were growing up and I was just a small kitten, I remember chewing on your hair and cud- I mean, hiding in it when it got cold!" 

The Maine Coon sighed and scratched his head in a way that conveyed a strong I-so-regret-ever-opening-this-topic feeling. "What can I say? I'm a curious cat." 

Before he could leave, change the topic or act on any of those tens of escape ideas that were swirling in his head, Mistoffelees took several incredibly quiet steps forward. If Tugger wasn't so distraught, he would be amazed at his partner's sneakiness. Without a shred of remorse, the black and white cat stepped on Rum Tum Tugger's tail, not enough to hurt, but to show that leaving wasn't an option. "You're not getting out of this so easily, Tugger. Why let only me?" he asked in a low voice. 

And Tugger knew - but hadn't he always known, from the very first moment the tiny monochromatic kitten looked at him with those deep, round eyes? - that he could not lie to this cat. For other Jellicles, he could spin fantastical tales, spice up the truth a little bit or play coy. But when it came to Misto, he just couldn't bring himself to do it, couldn't imagine breaking that unspoken trust the magician of the tribe had graced him with. "At the beginning?" he chuckled and relaxed a bit. "I just couldn't bring myself to shake you off. You seemed so enamored with my mane, and you were so tiny...let's just say that it would feel like taking your favorite toy from you. And you looked so innocent and gentle back then..." He did not finish the sentence, but immensely enjoyed the way his teasing tone flustered the normally level-headed cat. 

Mistoffelees moved in even closer, possibly to hide his embarrassment in Tugger's rich mane. "It has been a long time since I was a kitten," he mentioned matter-of-factually. 

The older tom grinned and nuzzled his partner's head. "That it has. But afterwards...well. Let's just say that with a mane this thick, it isn't...it isn't always pleasant when someone tries to clean it. It tugs a lot. Hurts. So I always took care of it myself. But during that first winter, when you curled up next to me and started mindlessly licking it..." he trailed off, not sure how to finish the sentence. 

Through the rich layers of his mane, Mistoffelees's voice reached him. It had gone gentle and quiet, and not only due to being muffled by the layer between them. "It didn't hurt?" 

"No. It never did." Tugger moved even closer, pulling Misto into an embrace and, as a side effect, freed his tail. "It never hurts even the smallest bit from you. Perhaps it's how delicate your tongue is. Perhaps you're more careful or precise. Or maybe you were meant for me from the start," he chuckled and, when his partner's paw dug into his ribs in a playful attempt at punishing his cheekiness, pretended to wheeze in pain. "Anyway, I don't know why and I don't care. I just know you're the only one allowed near my hair, now and forever. And if you ever decide to leave, then I'll just have to die alone, old, dirty and tangled." He gave a theatrical sigh, disentangled himself from Misto and looked him in the eye, with perhaps more emotion than he meant to show. "And you wouldn't let that happen to my fur, would you?" 

Mister Mistoffelees, taken aback by the unexpected turn in their conversation, snickered. "Careful, a bit more praise and I could get the idea that you chose me as your mate for my grooming skills." 

Tugger grinned back. "What can I say? It's a huge selling point. Especially if it comes with a mysterious, talented, elegant and overall incredibly lovable tuxedo-colored package. But, if it makes you feel any better, I never had any inappropriate ideas when you were helping me with the fur thing. I mean...perhaps some, but only after we got together. Your tongue happens to give me way too many ideas. Speaking of which-!" 

But the curious cat was not allowed to finish that thought. Mistoffelees suddenly pounced and, perhaps with some help of his magic, got Tugger on his back again. Doing his best not to show how the affectionate gaze of the older cat affected him, Misto sighed and gave Tugger a stern look. "I swear, Tugger, one day I'll make you act on these ideas before I start cleaning you! So much wasted work!" 

Rolling them over, Rum Tum Tugger kissed the pretended annoyance from his face. "Don't ask twice."

**Author's Note:**

> I finally started writing again! It feels so good to be involved in a fandom once more. And it made me finally get an account here, so win-win. Comments are very, VERY appreciated, and so are any language corrections and suggestions (as English is my second language). 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
